Father’s Day opens a can of worms for some people. Feelings of abandonment and unresolved issues resurface. This post is for people who want to find peace in their screwed up father relationships.
Some fortunate people had wonderful relationships with loving fathers. I was blessed with a father who loved, supported and encouraged his kids. I loved him dearly and still miss him daily. My father also screwed up – royally. He spent half of his adult life as an emotionally unavailable alcoholic – and then celebrated 29 years of sobriety when he died. He went bankrupt and lost the family home – and then rebuilt a comfortable retirement income which benefited his family. He cheated on his marriage more than once – and, due to my mother’s graciousness, my father rebuilt a loving relationship with her and his children.
Fathers screw up sometimes. We all screw up sometimes. Looking at my father’s life and screw ups with compassion gave me a new perspective into my own life and my own mistakes. My new awareness brought me peace with my father and with myself.
Fathers are people with unmet needs too – even those men whom we do not admire. Maybe they had abusive fathers themselves with no good role models in sight. Maybe they had unrealistic expectations of themselves and their abilities and therefore felt inadequate. Maybe our culture imposed unrealistic expectations on them.
One of the saddest things I have heard was from Brené Brown’s interview with a man who said his wife and children would rather see him die on his white horse than to see him fall down. Ouch.
Cheers to the men who fall down and get up again. And again. And again.
Cheers to the men who confront their inner demons and live to tell the tale. Because some men don’t make it through the rain. (Tribute to Barry Manilow) “I made it through the rain and found myself respected by the others who got rained on too, and made it through.”
I’m not letting anyone off the hook for screwing up, lying, cheating, stealing, or abusing and belittling someone to make themselves feel powerful. Abusing power is never ok. But each of us can choose whether to hold on to judgment of themselves and others. I encourage you to make amends now and make better choices next time.
It’s not too late to make amends, to write the letter, to make the phone call, to visit the person who longs to hear your voice saying they are loved. I screwed up and I still love you. Or you screwed up and I’m really pissed off, but I want to understand your perspective. Let’s talk.
If, for whatever reason, you’re not able to confront that father-child relationship in person, reach out energetically and spiritually. Write the letter and burn it. Say a prayer in your heart. Connect Soul to Soul and speak your piece to the wind. Then, let go and listen with your heart for the next step.
I specialize in helping people heal relationships at a spiritual level. Let me know if I can help. The higher perspective from a spiritual level brings clarity and inner peace – often this builds the bridge to outer peace.
Leah Skurdal is a Stress Resilience Coach and Energy Healer who helps people uplevel their stress response so they can uplevel their relationships with the people who matter. Reach out to her at [email protected]
A Workshop to Integrate the Spiritual into the Physical
You might have a lot of information about your body, staying healthy and physical symptoms. Do you also listen with your intuitive heart wisdom to what your body is really saying? What message is your body telling you through discomfort? Who in your life is a pain in the neck? Is someone else’s energy contributing to your migraine? How do you release toxic thoughts from your joints?
In this fun and insightful workshop, learn practical tools to:
- Unravel stress from your body before it causes physical dis-ease;
- Gain intuitive insights into your innate well-being;
- Release negativity stored in your physical tissues.
Tuesday, June 11, 2019
11499 Martin St. Coon Rapids, MN 55433
Today I am consciously choosing to use my Five Simple Strategies to Subdue Stress! With the restoration company fixing our ice dam related water issues, the leaking sink drain requiring a call to the restoration company and the leaking main water line unrelated to the previous water issues requiring calls to find a plumber, the wrong door key requiring a second trip and Whew! I am needing to breathe, smile, and find something to be grateful for.
Some days it is easier than others to focus on gratitude. So today I am grateful that I can feel gratitude! I am grateful for a great restoration company with competent workers. I am grateful for clean water that flows easily through my tap without me having to carry it into the house. I am grateful for a refrigerator full of delicious fruits and vegetables. I am grateful that the song in my head is Josh Groban singing “so much to be thankful for.”
If you need a boost of resilience, come to my class tonight
Five Simple Strategies to Subdue Stress
2 S. Pine Dr, Circle Pines MN
Tap into your natural core of well-being any time for stress relief, to recharge your batteries and to gain wisdom about your next steps. Respond to drama with inner strength and compassion. Integrate spiritual practice into your daily actions.
Responding to Stress from Your Inner Strength
May 14, May 21, May 28 – 7:00-8:00pm
Unity North Spiritual Center, 11499 Martin St., Coon Rapids, MN
May 14 – Boosting Your Good Vibes
Gain awareness of how negative and positive energetic vibrations impact you. Cleanse your field of depleting energetic vibrations to enhance your wellbeing.
May 21 – Love Transforms Fear
Connect to Divine Love to pre-pave a potentially stressful situation for improved results. Strengthen interpersonal relationships and resolve conflict with Divine Love.
May 28 – Creating Ripples of Peace
Create a sacred group to engage in conscious co-creation for the next seven generations. Connect to intuitive wisdom to enhance creative problem solving potential.
Pre-register for all three sessions – $100
Individual workshop – $37
50% proceeds to Unity North Spiritual Center
Call Leah to register – 651-472-3995
April 5 is International Golden Rule Day honoring the Universal Spiritual Principle written in the world’s religious scriptures using different words with the same meaning:
Treat other people the way you would like to be treated.
Let’s go the whole nine yards.
You prefer to be treated the way you prefer to be treated and not the way other people treat themselves or the way someone else wants to be treated. I can massage the calves of someone’s legs because they really like that, but please do not massage the calves of my legs because I do not like it. In fact, I might kick you if I’m not paying attention. I don’t always want the same treatment that you find pleasurable, even if you think you’re being kind. But I love to have my feet massaged which some people do not enjoy. So, ask. Check out your perception of what you consider kindness.
A guy I know was put off when a woman straightened his collar without asking. He doesn’t like being touched by people outside of his family. The touch rule goes both ways. The woman probably thought she was being kind in noticing that his collar was rumpled. She probably straightens her husband’s collar so she thought she was doing him a service. But, would she have wanted a male co-worker to straighten her collar? Even if he thought he was being kind? Hmmm. You would probably prefer to be asked, “Hey, I see your collar is rumpled. Would you like help straightening it for the photo?”
Today, on Golden Rule Day, see how much kindness you can share with the world. Focus your intention on giving and receiving kindness with an open heart. And, when in doubt, ask.
Click here to learn more about the 24 hour celebration of International Golden Rule Day.https://www.goldenruleday.org/
Shopping for an affordable used car pushes my not-very-patient-I-want-it-now- button. I started craving dark chocolate truffles – my default stress management coping strategy. Happily, I noticed the downward trend in my mood before I consumed a load of chocolate. I paused to notice my thoughts and took a breath. I chose instead to ask my inner wisdom for the next right step.
Feeling inspired, I pulled out my Angelic Messenger Flower cards. When I ask a question and allow Divine Love to guide the card I take from the deck, I usually get clarity and insight about my prayer request. I study the message that the flower card offers.
The beautiful lavender flower Trust card already sat on my nightstand from an earlier prayer request. But I wasn’t feeling it. I was doubting myself and doubting Divine Wisdom. I wanted an extra confirmation that I was on the right track.
“I would like help finding a car,” I declared simply.
I opened my heart to receive and selected a card from the Angelic Flower deck. The wild card of Divine Guidance. “Excellent! Thank you!” Divine Guidance will help me find the right next car.
“Now,” I said, “I would like help taking the next right actions in my business.”
A second time, I opened my heart to receive and selected another card from the deck without looking at it. My heart leapt joyfully! The card in my hand was the other wild card of Divine Guidance!
Double Divine Guidance!!
Ok, then, I trust Double Divine Guidance to lead my choices this week. Divine Love, God, Spirit – whatever name you give it – I’m yours!
Bring it on! I am listening.
“When your vision becomes more powerful than your memory,
your future becomes more real than your past.” ~Roger Hamilton
Keeping you on track to live the life of
passion and purpose you envision and prefer.
Leah Skurdal, Wellness Coach
Call now to schedule a free 30-minute consultation.
The archer pulls the bow’s drawstring which creates tension or stress. You may have learned, as I did, that too much stress in your life contributes to a host of ailments and premature death. However, just as the archer harnesses stress to launch the arrow toward the target, you can learn to harness the energy of stress to propel you toward well-being.
In her TED talk, How to Make Stress Your Friend, health psychologist Kelly McGonigal, shared research that surprised me at first, although it makes intuitive sense. Researchers found people who learned to view their stress symptoms (like sweating and pounding heart) as helpful for their performance became less stressed out and less anxious. Not only that, but their blood vessels didn’t constrict in an unhealthful way and instead allowed blood to flow freely as if they were happy and brave.
I get it! How you respond to stress is what matters to your health and wellbeing and creates resilience!
In this lively and insightful workshop, I teach ways to respond to stress from your innate, inner wellbeing so you build resilience and harness the energy of stress to launch you forward in life.
You are invited to learn and practice
Five Simple Strategies to Subdue Stress
Call to schedule a session for your group.
- Learn tools that harness the power of stress to launch you toward your target, like the archer pulling back the bow’s drawstring
- Build your stress resilience muscles so you can turn changes and challenges into opportunities
- Add a vitally important and often overlooked tool to your personal and professional toolkit to gain confidence in stressful situations
- Learn proven stress management tools from a trained professional with 25 years of experience
Call Leah with Questions or to schedule this fun and informative workshop for your group. 651-472-3995